I have spent a lot of time lately considering my resume. Now that I am on the cusp of graduation, I need to consider my career options.
I have certainly obtained plenty of skills whilst I’ve been a student, plenty of skills that could get me any number of jobs.
But that got me thinking.
What would be skills resume look like according to Facebook?
I am an expert farmer, excelling in harvesting crops like soybeans, artichokes, watermelon and potatoes, to mention a few.
I have a keen ability to monitor the well-being of numerous forms of livestock (just call me Captain Agriculture!), including wild turkeys, turtles, goats, rabbits, penguins, ducks, geese, horses, sheep, reindeer, and a variety of cows (chocolate milk cows, strawberry milk cows, alien cows—yes, I can hear a certain farm girl (Ashlee) groaning at me right now). I have even birthed several calves.
Wow, I’m pretty impressive.
I haven’t even mentioned all the time I spend working on my trees. I am quite the arborist, too.
But I don’t just have experience farming, I am also an archaeologist. In fact I have secured more than 80 items with various museums around the world.
Alas, I have truly become a world traveler.
I have raced environmentally friendly cars, accumulating carbon credits to help stop global warming (lil Eco Racer).
My efforts gardening have saved hundreds of acres of rainforest (lil Green Patch).
Did I mention I am also an event organizer? A drug dealer (thank you, Dope Wars), wanted by the police (again, thank you Dope Wars), a jewel specialist (Bejeweled Blitz), a marine biologist (lil Blue Cove)?
I am also a regular supporter of events and causes, a fan of numerous types of pop culture (ie. Kenny vs. Spenny and Bjork), and an everyday activist for environmental issues.
Personal development is something I am very passionate about, as is evident by the number of personality profile quizzes I have taken:
-my ideal city is Seattle (no wonder I set my book there!)
-if I were a martial art, I would be Taekwondo (even though I personally prefer and am more active in Judo)
-if I were a Bible character, I would be David
-compare yourself to a dog? I am a loveable and loyal golden retriever
Even my journalism skills have been called into use on Facebook as I write reviews on movies I have seen. Sure, they might only be 18 words long, but that in itself is an art!
Yeesh! I am overwhelmed just thinking about all of my Facebook accomplishments. And even with that in mind, I know that I have missed things.
Things like being an excellent communicator (instant messaging), creatively observant (commenting on people’s photos), and personable (199 friends and counting).
Yes, Facebook, you have changed my life.
You’ve made me a better person.
You’ve helped my achieve so much in my life.
All I have to do now is leave the computer and actually do some of these things for real.But hey, if I put any of my FB skills on my real resume, at least I know I’m not lying, and something’s got to be said for integrity, right?
I have certainly obtained plenty of skills whilst I’ve been a student, plenty of skills that could get me any number of jobs.
But that got me thinking.
What would be skills resume look like according to Facebook?
I am an expert farmer, excelling in harvesting crops like soybeans, artichokes, watermelon and potatoes, to mention a few.
I have a keen ability to monitor the well-being of numerous forms of livestock (just call me Captain Agriculture!), including wild turkeys, turtles, goats, rabbits, penguins, ducks, geese, horses, sheep, reindeer, and a variety of cows (chocolate milk cows, strawberry milk cows, alien cows—yes, I can hear a certain farm girl (Ashlee) groaning at me right now). I have even birthed several calves.
Wow, I’m pretty impressive.
I haven’t even mentioned all the time I spend working on my trees. I am quite the arborist, too.
But I don’t just have experience farming, I am also an archaeologist. In fact I have secured more than 80 items with various museums around the world.
Alas, I have truly become a world traveler.
I have raced environmentally friendly cars, accumulating carbon credits to help stop global warming (lil Eco Racer).
My efforts gardening have saved hundreds of acres of rainforest (lil Green Patch).
Did I mention I am also an event organizer? A drug dealer (thank you, Dope Wars), wanted by the police (again, thank you Dope Wars), a jewel specialist (Bejeweled Blitz), a marine biologist (lil Blue Cove)?
I am also a regular supporter of events and causes, a fan of numerous types of pop culture (ie. Kenny vs. Spenny and Bjork), and an everyday activist for environmental issues.
Personal development is something I am very passionate about, as is evident by the number of personality profile quizzes I have taken:
-my ideal city is Seattle (no wonder I set my book there!)
-if I were a martial art, I would be Taekwondo (even though I personally prefer and am more active in Judo)
-if I were a Bible character, I would be David
-compare yourself to a dog? I am a loveable and loyal golden retriever
Even my journalism skills have been called into use on Facebook as I write reviews on movies I have seen. Sure, they might only be 18 words long, but that in itself is an art!
Yeesh! I am overwhelmed just thinking about all of my Facebook accomplishments. And even with that in mind, I know that I have missed things.
Things like being an excellent communicator (instant messaging), creatively observant (commenting on people’s photos), and personable (199 friends and counting).
Yes, Facebook, you have changed my life.
You’ve made me a better person.
You’ve helped my achieve so much in my life.
All I have to do now is leave the computer and actually do some of these things for real.But hey, if I put any of my FB skills on my real resume, at least I know I’m not lying, and something’s got to be said for integrity, right?
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