According to Illinois State Law, I might just be a child predator.

Obviously I'm not! (how could you even think that?)

Yesterday I tried to go to the Chicago Children's Museum at Navy Pier. My Go Chicago Card gave me free access, including a VIP chance to skip the line! (I went at 4pm, there was no line--I would have skipped it anyway.)

As I walked up to the two young men manning the pay desk, I suavely slipped them my card (OK, it was more like awkwardly; I'm still getting used to the thing!). The first guy asked me, "Are you meeting a family in there?"

What? Of course not--I have no family in Chicago, they're all at home and I miss them very much.


"Are you meeting friends in there? Friends with kids?"


"Then we're going to need a driver's licence or state I.D."

Uh oh. I don't have either on me. I rented a bike that morning and they needed either my credit card or licence. As if I'm going to give a stranger my credit card to hold on to, pu-leeze! So the bike shop has my licence. I'm not carrying my passport around with me.

Now what?

How about trying to explain to two unimpressed over-protective black men that you aren't a crazy with a thing for kids? I'm a mom! I love kids--just not that way; that's disgusting!

I said I might come back later. I didn't. They probably think I do like kids that  way. Even though I don't! Ew!

But other than that, I had a great day.

I started off walking to the pier and renting a bike. It was a Cruiser. Very fun, very hard to get used to. The handle bars are sooo wide! But you sit up really straight. So that means that when you aren't bent over, your tummy rolls don't fold into one another, making you look bigger than you are. I like that a lot.

So I rode the several miles to the Lincoln Park Zoo. It was wonderful. That's zoo number 6 off my list. (My goal is to see 15 different ones.) It was quite similar to Winnipeg, only we don't have rhinos. Or penguins. Or giraffes. Awesome!

But we do have way more camels than they have! So ha!

There were two ladies looking at the camels as I came up to them. One was going on how they are dromedary camels, etc. etc. Yes, you're so smart. Except you're not! They were Bactrian! You know how I know? They have 2 humps. Two humps that make the letter 'B'. Dromedarys (dromedaries?) have 1 which looks like a 'D'.

I wanted to tell them, rub it in the "smart" lady's face, but that just would have been mean.

Also, I figured they would eventually see 1 of the 6 signs around the pen that said "Bactrian Camels".

After the zoo, I rode my bike over to Wriggly field. So big, so fun. It was closed, being a Thursday afternoon and all, but still, really neat. I rode all the way around it, then headed back to Lakeshore Dr., named such because it is right along the lake.

From there I went to the John Hancock building (or for you Family Guy fans, the John Footpenis building). I rode the elevator up 94 floors and spent some time with David Schwimmer. He took me on an audio tour of the city. It was very entertaining. (There were two--one for adults, one for kids. I'm not sure it would help my case if I were to say to I took the kid's tour. It's just that they had games! And again, I was alone. You have your own headphones and device, like a really thick blackberry, that plays the tour depending on what side of the city (or lake) you are looking at. Again, so not a pervert!)

After that, I rode back down to the Pier, tried to get into the children's museum, tried to convince people I don't like kids that way, then used my Go Chicago card to buy a ticket (free of course!) on the Tall Ship Windy.

The Windy was a pirate themed ship that sailed around the lake for 75 minutes, while we were entertained with real pirate stories from the area. Our guide, Zachary Daiquiri, was amazing! I'm sure part of the reason he was living it up and so on his game was because of the 16 or so guests on the ship, only two were male.

Nevertheless, we were entertained, we were cold, we laughed and ooed and ahed. It was wonderful.

To start the trip, we had to lift up the sail. So six of us young ladies went and hoisted up the sail. A truly amazing experience, despite my freezing cold fingers and the rope burn. Still, really, really cool.

After the cruise, I went to Forever 21. Sort of. First I got lost and walked about 14 blocks past where I needed to go. Then, when I finally realized I wasn't getting to where I wanted to be, I turned around and had to walk them all back. Let's just say my feet were killing me.

They sort of still are.

Today I will be wearing runners. Can't wait!

Today I will also be taking a bus tour (thundershowers and all kind of taking over the city) and spending the day inside. Afterall, I got my tan yesterday. Sort of. Right now it's still kind of red and tender and burny, but it will brown over. Ideally without peeling.

So now it's off to museums and aquariums, and anyone else who wants to entertain me for the day. And probably cheesecake, since the Cheesecake Factory is so close (although they don't dress anything like Penny on The Big Bang Theory.). I just know that I may or may not try to check out the kid's museum .

I mean, I have already paid for it. With money obviously, not prison time!
10/28/2010 02:13:18 am

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