I feel like I am spinning completely out of control, spiraling down into the depths of a world I'm not entirely sure I want to be in.

Several years ago, I created a life list: 150 things I want to do in my life. But the more I thought about it, the longer it got.  150 turned into closer to 200.  I don't have a problem with wanting to accomplish a lot--I'm an ambitious person.  It's just now I'm finding that I'm so busy doing things that, while interesting, aren't necessarily what I want to be doing.

Don't get me wrong--I love the program that I'm in; I thrive on creating, but there are so many opportunities I feel like I'm missing because I am always doing homework, or always tired, or always trying to catch up on sleep because I've been so busy with homework I haven't slept in days.  (And don't ask me about my exercise schedule--it's been a week; ugh, I feel so gross!)

I suppose at the end I will have accomplished so much, and there is something to be said for that, but I don't want to miss the things that my heart really wants in the meantime.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to cross number 187 off of my list: a date in the Pacific Islands on a bush plane with a certain bear named Baloo...

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